Was looking through an old blog, reread this gem... Sure brought back the memories..
Note: I was separated for damn-near seven years until I recently finalized my divorce.. We were physically and financially separated but not legally separated when this happened a few years ago. She used (and still does) the kids as a weapon and an excuse against me.
~~~Wavy like lines here ~~~
So I was asked by the Ew (estranged wife) if she could borrow a car as her car needed to go into the shop.. So before I agreed, I asked a few questions.
How long did she need it? She could get a loaner if it is more than a day from out mechanic. Did she have money to pay for it? Yes. With a sense of dread, but feeling like I did not have a choice as she needs to transport our kids half the time.. I did not like it, but agreed to let her use one of my cars for a day.
The Ew’s car was the last ‘good’ car I bought. She got it when we separated, had been driving it into the ground for years.. Constantly runs out of gas, does not check the oil regularly.. Ran with bad brakes until they failed.. You know, yer mechanics dream customer.. =D
Now I have been driving beaters for years. Cheap, barely running things I have suffer with partly for the joy of fixing what I can myself, partly as car repairs are so random that if something major breaks I can just dump the lemon and move on to the next car, partly because I am cheap.. =) I have two cars. The Sundance (autostart, heater works great, transmission going out) and the Crown Vic (bald tires, needs oil with every fillup, but has ice cold A/C) I drive both, so as to not beat up one car too much.. Also have two cars as a backup, problem with one, drive the other.. One dies, have time to find another.. System works out pretty well.
Decided to let her use the Crown Vic as it was only going to be a day… Ha!
Week 1: She gets the car. When I ask about getting my car back a couple days later, she gives me attitude, like it is none of my business what is going on with her car! I remind her she only asked for one day. Text and email a few more times about what is going on, no response. I have to repeatedly tell her to check and refill the oil.
Week 2: My kid tells me the motors shot and ‘Mama’s gonna buy a new car’ when I ask how (I know I shouldn't have, was honestly curious) since she does not work I am told she is going to have some charity get her money. Ew rips me a new one for ‘involving the kids in something that should be between us’ ignoring the fact she is refusing to talk to me about it! Says she is ‘weighing her options’ and will let me know. Oh, and she tells me she does not know what the big deal is as I ‘do not drive the crown vic anyway.’ And the kids ask me independently why I am bugging Mama since I do not need to drive the car as well.
Bonus: Oh, and BTW her car needs to be removed from the mechanic’s place, and she cannot be bothered. It is filled with her crap. Since this is my mechanic too I drive the car to my place.
Week 3: Informs me that when her daughter buys a new car, she will use her daughter’s old car, will 'let me know' when I can get my car back. I ask her to make a decision about getting rid of her car as it is parked on the street, and had to be dug out from a snowstorm, took a chilly 30 minutes of hard work, and the help of neighbors to get it moved before the plows came by.
Bonus: she tells me it was ‘no big deal’ I had to dig out her car, because I would just have had to dig out my car if she wasn't using it? Guess she does not understand that there is a difference between doing something for yourself and doing something for an, er, um, ungrateful biatch?
When my kids and I are at a Christmas party, my daughter is talking to her ma on the phone, and informs me that my car will be back, and the key will be in the mailbox or the porch. When I get home, her car is gone, my car is there! But no key in the mailbox, no key in the porch, no key in the car.. Key cannot be found despite 30 minutes of looking in the subzero weather.. I text the Ew and she said that she was keeping my only car key until she gets her spare key back, the spare key to her car, the car she is getting rid of, the key I had because I had to picked up her car for her from the mechanic? Petty much? Oh, and she left a bag of trash in the car, and the gas gauge below ‘E’.
So in summary, she asked to borrow a car for a day, kept it 3 weeks. Did not say thanks, or sorry. Left the car trashed, empty of gas without the key.
